Alan Pardew Is An Utter Cretin!


Alan Pardew has been appointed as a head pundit by Sky Sports for the coming season and it seems he has wasted no time in talking utter nonsense.

Only a couple of days into his new role, Alan Pardew is already trying to link himself to the successful escape from relegation last season, which was expertly handled by Sam Allardyce.

In an interview he was asked to give his views about new manager Frank de Boer’s revolution at the Palace. Below is a few sections of the article.

“Pardew was sacked days before Christmas with Palace just above the Premier League drop zone. While he credits Sam Allardyce for his work in hauling the club to safety, he remains adamant that the Eagles would also have got away from danger had he stayed. “I really do think we would have got out of it,” Pardew tells Sky Sports.

“Unfortunately, at Crystal Palace we had got things wrong in the summer. We lost our left-back Pape Souare to a car accident in September and had left ourselves with no left-footed back-up there. It became a massive problem for us and it was one that we did not foresee.”

Pardew thinks he would have go us out of trouble? No, he is deluded! He got us in to a mess which was far above our neck that we were almost dead an buried. It took Big Sam 2 months before things started looking up .

As for the next point he is right. Nobody could foresee Pape Souare having a serious road traffic accident. What was Pardew’s fault was that he didn’t sign a back up in the summer. Something he neglected not “we” because he was responsible for transfer activities.

Final point, he says we had no left-footed back up. What about Zeki Fryers? We can talk all day long about if he was up to the job of filling in for Pape Souare but Zeki Fryers is a left-footed player who plays in the left back position. We had a back up! Pardew had to assign Fryers’s a squad number so the cretin must have known he was there.

This next part is hilarious!

“I think what Palace went on to do in the January transfer window was pretty much what I would have done anyway. The players did need a boost though. They needed a left-back and they got two. They needed a centre-back as there were some problems there as well and Mamadou Sakho proved to be a massive signing for the club.”

Let’s get one thing straight, the board would NOT have trusted Pardew with £40m in January! They didn’t trust him with that must last summer!

You may remember we spent a net total of £11m-£12m, some even have it as low as £8m. We signed Christian Benteke because we sold Yannick Bolasie to Everton. Pardew waxed lyrical about how desperate he was to keep Bolasie yet we couldn’t sign Benteke until Bolasie left. Stinks about, doesn’t it?

As the window closed last summer Parish said there were some funds left over for players in January should we need them. There was but not £40m! There was about £10m-£15m available. The board made another £25m available from this summer’s transfer budget, which explains why we look like we’re skint!

Does Pardew really think we’d have got to January and he’d have been given £40m? He might have got the £15m!

Would Schlupp have signed for us under Pardew? Maybe. Would van Aarnholt? No! He only signed because he wanted to play for Big Sam. He was happy at Sunderland until Big Sam got the Palace job.

Would Pardew have signed Milivojevic? Some say he was in our sights back last summer so we’ll say yes but so far Schlupp and Milivojevic would cost more than his budget would allow.

What about signing Sakho on loan? He might have been able to get him being that he’s French and was desperate for 1st team football. But would there have been money in the budget to pay the £3m+ loan fee and wages? Difficult to say.

What I can say for sure is that Pardew would not have got the players to give the type of performances that they did at Chelsea, at Liverpool, at home to Arsenal and Hull. If he couldn’t manage it earlier in the season how could he have done it at the arse end of April?

The man is a cretin and a moron.

I felt sorry for him when he was sacked. He made mistakes, alienated the dressing room because of his treatment of Jedi, Speroni and saying Cabaye is his captain on the field, a snub to out appointed captain.

Let me ask you this. Twelve months ago Wilfred Zaha wanted to leave the club. He requested to be able to speak to Spurs and started kicking up a fuss. We, quite rightly said no because Spurs had not met our valuation.

Ten months further on after narrowly avoiding relegation and with our manager having just left to go into retirement, Wilfred Zaha signed a new 5 year contract with the club.

Why? What was so different about Palace in May 2017 from August 2016? We perfromed worse in the league, had no manager, not a lot of money to spend and seemingly an unknown future.

The answer must be because Wilf is happy at the club he loves and that is because Pardew is no longer at the club.

Why do I feel the need to have a go at Pardew? Because he is talking about us, he is trying to rub some of our success off on him when he could not have achieved the same results!

I was genuinely sorry that things didn’t work out for him at Palace but all the problems were either his fault or happened because of his lack of planning. I don’t want to remember the last 12 months he was with us, more the first 12 months which were excellent!

His silly dance at Wembley is endearing because it showed how much it meant to him but everything else that happened that calendar year only showed him up to be a totally inept manager.

He should do himself a favour. Comment on Palace, it’s his job now, but leave out the “I could have done that” bollocks. If we go on to do well this season with the new expansive style of play he’ll jump on the bandwagon too.

He is a moron. A loon. A cretin. Totally deluded. He does not live in reality and he needs to stop eating Frank de Boer’s exotic brownies!

Here is a link to the article on the Sky Sports website.

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